I’m not really sure what this post will be about. I think I really just need to sit back and reflect on what’s happening and what’s really going on.
So I’ve been out here 6 weeks and so far I’ve achieved nothing of what I was hoping to achieve. Before I left home I had all these hopes of what was going to happen. I was gonna leave home, move somewhere else, get a job (or 2) get my own little place, probably go back to school part time and finally get my life sorted. But after 6 weeks of being out here and being no closer to any of those goals, I’m feeling more and more deflated by the day.
Maybe it’s my own fault that I’m in this situation (well obviously it’s my own fault, can’t blame anyone else). I’m too much of a dreamer. My whole life I’ve always wanted to escape to some other place. I don’t know why I have this desire or where this desire came from (maybe it’s the Sagittarian in me or something) but I’ve always felt this need to just be some place else. I thought the last 7 years of my life would be different (and boy were they) but nothing like how they’ve turned out to be.
I just wanted so much more for myself, but like I said, maybe this is my life.
Maybe I’ve been trying too much and too hard to better myself and to make something of my life and it’s just never going to happen for me. Maybe all the things I think I deserve just aren’t meant to be.
I just feel so lost.
But despite everything I’m going through and trying to deal with, I should always take into account that I’m STILL trying every day to better myself. It may not seem like it, but I’ve still got a little bit of fight left in me somewhere.
Note to self…