Am I (still) missing out on life? I still don’t quite know.
Since moving, I’ve had the urge to go out and do stuff, didn’t matter what it was, I just wanted to go out there and do something, but I’ve not quite been able to do so.
I guess it’s because I’ve been so focused on trying to get my life sorted so that I can get my own place and build a steady and secure future for myself.
That’s been the main thing I’ve wanted and needed for a real long time – stability in my life. I’m not saying my life hasn’t been stable, safe and secure, but I just need to start doing things for myself you know. Hence why I left home. I’m an adult (almost 30!). I was starting to feel like a bum and I didn’t want that.
But it’s like now that I HAVE left home, I’m still stuck in the same situation and position I was in before. I still don’t have the “freedom” to do as I please. I live in a great place now, there’s soo much one can do here but I can’t do any of the things I’d like to. Because I’m too busy trying to save just about every penny I get from work (which is getting worse by the week) so I can gain at least some independence in my life.
Maybe I’m too responsible a person. I’m always preparing ahead for things. I want to go out to places and do things, I really do, but at the same time I can’t, because I need to put money aside otherwise I’ll never be able to get my own place and go exploring. One needs money to do things in this world we live in today.
I just don’t want this to be my life. Always saving and being prepared for the day when I’ll be able to do stuff. I want to experience life and not just live.
I guess I should start going out and doing things. With work being ugh and all this free time on my hands I’ve been having lately; I might as well make use of it.
I know I can’t be reckless and go out on the spending spree (as much as I’d really like to) I still have to be a responsible adult. I can’t afford to be wild; otherwise it’ll be back home for me or worse (unemployment).
I think what I’ll probably do is make it a priority to do at least one thing a week or month or whatever and do something I haven’t done before. Whether it’s going to a new place to try out a new food or going for a walk somewhere. Just doing something you know.
“Please be a traveller, not a tourist. Try new things, meet new people, and look beyond what’s right in front of you. Those are the keys to understanding this amazing world we live in.”
― Andrew Zimmern
Oh well, things for me will get better. I sure hope they will. Kinda need them to.
Anywhoo…in other news, I SAW SHOOTING STARS LAST NIGHT! Oh my gawd it was so amazing! I’m talking about the Perseid Meteor Shower. I’ve never seen one apart from when I was a kid I may have seen about one. But last night (rather early this morning) I got to see a few. It really is an amazing thing to witness. Glad I finally got the chance to see one 🙂
The sun is out and I think I’m going to spend my day sitting outside reading my book and enjoying the sunshine that we have today.
Ciao till next time all 🙂
P.s For those who are wondering what “angazi” is or means, it means “I don’t know” in Zulu.