Boy am I drained!
Last week I worked 9 days straight. Thank goodness I finished by 2pm most days. Still was a very long work period. Literally had one day off.
Anyhoo, enough about work, don’t want to spend even more time going on about the same things. I would rather talk about something awesome that happened on Monday.
When I was in primary school many moons ago, I had a best friend. She was the best. Her family were great. But sadly (for me) when we were about 11..12 her family emigrated to Australia. After that we pretty much lost contact. I did get to see her mom when she came back (to Africa and the town where they used to live) for a visit. What a surprise that was. I got pulled out of class and I had no idea what was going on, lol.
That was in 2002 I think. A few years later, thanks to social media I got back in touch with said friend. Fast forward to 2018 and I got to meet and see my old friend in person! She was about doing a bit of traveling and lucky for us, she’s got a friend nearby and could make it to where I live for a catch up.
I gotta say I was a little nervous. Excited too but nervous. People change after all. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to recognise her after so many years, lol but I did.
It was really great seeing her and I know she was over excited about seeing me too. We had a nice little catch up. I had work that day so we couldn’t spend the whole day together but we spent a few hours in the afternoon which is better than nothing.
It was like nothing had changed between us. Which is always good. Sometimes your environment can change you but not my friend, She’s still as nice and sweet and decent as the last time I saw and remember her.
In the short time we spent together we laughed and joked, swooped stories about our lives and what not.
I was particularly interested in her travels and why she just decided to pack up and leave and go for it. My desire for doing just that is so strong, and after hearing her stories and adventures I grew thsy little bit more. I so wish I could do it, but you know, I kinda gave up a lot to move to be with my boyfriend and all that. Wouldn’t really be fair for me to just up and leave. If things were different I’d give it a shot definitely, but for now I’ll just live vicariously through others (lol).
Besides I’m not that brave, let’s face it. Moving to England from Scotland was a struggle enough, not so sure how I’d cope completely on my own out there in the world.
But as they say, you’ll never know unless you try.
I don’t regret my choice to move basically for love and to give myself a chance at a better life. But at times I do wonder if things would be better for me elsewhere.
I’ll always wonder you know. I’ve always felt like I’m destined for greatness but fear I’ll never get the chance to be it. I’m only 30 but it feels like my time is already up and that from now on I’ll just have to accept this life and deal with it somehow.
I have really got to stop comparing my life to others. I’m happy for those who get to do things I only wish I could. But I only see and hear the good parts. I know that nothing in life comes easy. I know all about struggles in life. Not as bad as others obviously. We all have our struggles.
The whole point of this post was to highlight that fact that after nearly 20 years, I finally got to see an old friend again. Which in all honesty has been the highlight of my year so far. Never did I ever think we’d see each other again.
I’ll always treasure that moment.
Apologies for the long post. I actually don’t know how it’s going to appear as I’m doing this on my phone (look at me trying to be cool and blog from my new smart phone).
Anyhoo. Pay day in 2 weeks. Bit nervous because it’s going to be way less because I’m doing a different role and work less hours. Hopefully it’ll be enough whereby I can pay off things and if need be, still have enough to sort myself out. If I do end up leaving and have no job to go to, I’ll probab end up back at my dad’s for a while.
Not the best ideal option but I’ll have to until something comes up.
God I hope I learn how to adult. This life I’m living now is not for me. Something has got to change. Something good has got to come my way